Sleep. Breathe. Have fun.

I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired of you…

There’s just so much work to do the next couple of weeks.  Shit I have SATs tomorrow and doing these cram classes, although helpful a bit, makes my feel stupid.  I’ve decided to devout the entire day tomorrow to study the SAT book, and hopefully my luck will pick up.  Then got stupid AP testings in a week and a half.  Probably gonna do bad on those because I suck at reading comprehension.  And then hopefully prom can have relieve some stress before finals…and then this year will finally be over.  Oh my God I can’t wait.  Just 2 and a half weeks left!  And that half week will be pointless.

sadnessandjoy & alexaranda :}

It’s my jealousy, ego, and pride that’s acting on me.  I don’t want to tell you because I’m afraid you’d view me as something different.  What I say might our connection, so that’s why I always feel like holding back.  But a part of me still has to bring it to the table one day, and I just hope it doesn’t ruin us.

Ugh, I just don’t know waht to do.  Why am I feeling like this?  It shouldn’t be like this.  There’s no feelings there, yet it still bothers me.  I don’t want that to happen, but I know I can’t stop you.  And I gotta make myself understand that I can’t do that, but I can’t understand that I can’t.  It’s up to you to see it now.

You know what?  Whenever I think of that, I just say “whatever, fuck it.”  I’m not gonna let that slow me down.

It’s a thin line…
Between love and hate.

In that line with all the guys standing, I’ll be the only one panting and tired and ready to collapse.

And I can’t take the thought of him,
Alone with you…alone with you…

I feel like a black republican, money I got comin’ in.
Can’t turn my back on the hood, I got love for them.
Can’t clean my act up for good, too much thug in ‘em.
Probably in the back of the hood, I’m like “fuck it then.”

I never tried to cross the line,
Though I stepped on it a couple times.

Prom was so awesome.  The most fun I had in a long while.  If only every weekend could be like this…But that’s never gonna happen…yet.  Picked up my Em at her house; her parents are really nice.  Left for Bell, met up with Matt and (pa)Tricia at the tables.  Thank you Matt for putting on the boutonniere for Breanna.  Took couples’ pictures, then later group pictures with Myles, Edbert, and Kelby.  Went outside and took some more pictures around the tigers and jeeps.  Ate a pretty good meal of salads and chicken.  Would’ve had a good eating contest, but apparently she wasn’t that hungry.  Then we all danced the night away.  I got so hyped when they played “Down” because after all, it is my song.  Ahh, what a superb night.  Thank you Em for coming with me.

No matter what you say,
No matter what you do,
I’ll always be there for you baby,
‘Cause you’re my boo.
No matter near or far,
You’re always in my heart,
I’ll never let you go,
‘Cause you will always be my natural hi-hi-hi-hi-high…

It may not mean nothing to y’all,
But understand nothing was done for me.
So I don’t plan on stopping at all,
I want this shit forever man…

Some people have asked me “how I do it?”  It refering to doing all the work and school and going out to hang and having this not-give-a-shit attitude.  But I think that’s bullshit because I have to bust my ass every day to do what I do.  I do care a lot, but I just tend not to show it ever.  Probably those close to me only know how I truly feel.  All the other people just have judgments, but I don’t blame them.  I just let them talk, and let my actions do the speaking.